I am sorry. I AM SORRY OKAY?! you are sick of this? I think i am sick of this too. I've had enough. All I wanted to do was just to make you smile...once. Once and it turned out like that. But why did it have to turn out this way? I was just joking about not talking to you because I thought that you would smile and try to make me not angry like you used to...but I guess you misunderstood me. I'm sorry.

I don't want this to continue. Really. Everyday I've been laughing, I've been smiling...I'm tired. I'm tired of trying to be happy when I am not. I'm sick of this life. I've always wanted to be the girl that I used to be...happy and free from troubles everyday. Look what I've become now. Crying every night and trying to smile in school when I am actually crying and screaming inside. But somehow, someone made me realise that I have to learn to be strong. And that someone is you. I wanted to be there whenever you feel troubled. But I'm scared you see. I'm scared you would feel even worse. You are different from the rest. I don't know...you are just well, different. Different in a special way.

If you are talking to me in your blog, then I'm sorry...I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. I'm sorry if I didn't know why you were not okay. I'm sorry if I couldn't see the truth. I'm just, well, dumb enough not to realise that okay? I'm sorry. I know you are feeling terrible. I am too.

Can we be like the previous times again? Playing 'bang!' and laughing and being crazy all day? I want this to stop. Please?